How can you get your kids to warm up to a new stepparent? First, be realistic. Research suggests that it takes about 2 years for a new family pattern to take shape and for kids to get used to a stepparent. Let your kids take their time in warming up to the new spouse. Be sure to allow the stepparent and child define their respective roles and support their choices. It´s not uncommon for a stepparent to take more of an aunt or uncle role than a parental role. If that´s what works in your family, don´t force it. Finally, work on your relationship with your new spouse. It won´t matter if the kids get along with him or her if the marriage doesn´t work

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