Co-dependency - What to do if you´re in an addictive relationship

If you feel you have a dependency problem, here is a general course of action:

*Gain insight to the causes of your dependency
*Learn to recognize destructive thinking, emotional, and behavior patterns
*Realize how unhappy you feel about your dependency
*Learn to avoid cognitive shortcuts (jumping to conclusions, acting upon assumptions, etc)
*Confront your fears
*Work on your self-esteem, self-confidence, and assertiveness
*Observe couples who have healthy (not perfect) relationships. Identify what they are doing differently
*Practice self-control. Don´t slip back into familiar patterns when something goes wrong
*Get support from lots of people, don´t go overboard with anyone in particular

Sexual Addiction

Three of more of the following criteria may indicate a problem with sexual addiction:

*frequently engaging in more sex and with more partners than intended
*being preoccupied with or persistently craving sex
*wanting to cut down and unsuccessfully attempting to limit sexual activity
*continually engaging in excessive sexual activity despite the desire to stop
*spending considerable time in activities related to sex (eg. cruising for partners, spending hours on-line visiting pornographic web sites
*neglecting obligations in pursuit of sex
*continually engaging in sexual behaviors despite negative consequences
*escalating the scope or frequency of sexual activity to achieve the desired effect
*feeling irritable when unable to engage in desired behavior

Compulsive Gambling

Symptoms of Compulsive Gambling:

*Increasing the frequency and amout of money gambled
*spending majority of free time thinking about gambling
*spending and excessive amount of time gambling at the expense of family time
*Being preoccupied with obtaining money to gamble with
*feeling an aroused sense of action; a gambling "high"
*continuing to gamble despite negative consequences
*Using gambling to cope with uncomfortable feeings
*taking greater risks to make up for a series of losses
*borrowing money to gamble, taking out secret loans, or maxing out credit cards
*bragging about wins, not talking about losses
*frequent mood swings
*gambling for longer periods of time with more money that originally planned
lying or secretive behavior to cover up extent of gambling